I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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