these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want to walk on stilts...naked
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
