Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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