hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
