i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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