i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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