Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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