would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
