we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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