Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
