East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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