About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
