I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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