My cat gives me a boner
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
