Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
