He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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