i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
