Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
