She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
