she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
