the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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