i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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