Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
