I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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