you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
