Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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