This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
