She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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