You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i think i have herpe
just one?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
