You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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