Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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