I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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