Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
