dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
