yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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