You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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