She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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