Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
