his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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