I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
