I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
