the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
