well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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