I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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