This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
