I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Dear god my vagina.
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