I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
