Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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