stop calling my apartment porn island.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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