piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am midnight drunk by noon
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
